day 1400: Are We Really Listening?

While I am on a pilgrimage walk on the Camino de Santiago (St. James Way) in Spain, I have asked some of the most committed and courageous faith-driven business leaders I know to guest contribute to Purposed worKING.  Enjoy! - Rusty
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“A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.”

There is one thing that seems to be a common thread for me this year – “hear all sides before creating an opinion.”  Throughout all areas of my life, whether it’s in my day-job in executive recruiting, as a board member, or as a parent, I have seen how easy it is to form an opinion or pass judgment.  In today’s world of connectivity and loud chatter there is no shortage of opinions. Just read your Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn feeds. Read the WSJ, NY Times, the forbidden People Magazine or listen to the office gossip. We are bombarded with messages and assumptions… “I can’t believe they let her go?” “Why was she promoted instead of him?”  “That’s an awful yelp or glassdoor review!” “We should retain XYZ firm, they rocked the presentation.” “The Board of Directors’ decision was ridiculous – why would they ever pursue that path.”  Personally and professionally we develop opinions and make assumptions as fast as Drew Brees can throw a touchdown pass (couldn’t help but mention my ‘who dat’ team!) If we make key decisions without hearing both sides or digging deeper for clarification, we risk making unwise decisions. We are striving to be wise leaders, leaders that people can trust. Alan Alda once said, "Listening is being able to be changed by the other person."

Catch yourself now! As you hear or see something or if you are close to “jumping on the band-wagon” -- seek counsel, ask clarifying questions, seek references just to confirm your initial assessment. Acquiring wisdom and knowledge through wise counsel takes a bit of extra time. Having the courage to ask tough questions can’t be underestimated when you have significant decisions to make. As His Word tells us in James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”  This pushes us to partner closer to God as we listen first and then take His direction. Before passing judgment by only hearing one-side-of-the-story, take heed to the Word to listen, remain teachable and have a receptive attitude.  With all the messages being sent to us every day, filter out what the Lord is telling you.  We need to allow His word to develop us to be the wise leaders Christ calls us to be.

Reference: Proverbs 1:5(NKJV)

Cecelia Gonzalez

day 1060: Try, Try and Try Again

"Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand."

Failing is part of trying. No successful business or businessperson has gotten to where they are without failing at least once, and many have failed multiple times and still found a way to become successful. The key is learning from those failures and then not making the same mistake twice. There are few failures, outside of breaking the law or doing something immoral, that we can't come back from and live another day. Sure, there are many stories of those who bet the farm on a direction or strategy and end up bankrupt, but even they are able to find their way back if they work hard enough at what they are trying to achieve.  We have seen many a company that is on their last few dollars when they found a new way to hang in there and grow.  A few weeks ago we saw one of the largest banks in the world, pay a substantial fine for manipulating the financial markets.  It's a significant black eye, but even this type of failure will likely be overcome and if they don't dwell on the problem but instead work hard to do right, then they are likely to have this pass.  It is always interesting to me to see which companies recover and which ones seem to never bounce back. As best as I can tell it is about being true recovering and doing all that can be done to return to the public and employee's trust.  And of course, failures that are just because of trying something new, then "try, try and try again" is important to follow.

God knows that we will fail and He always gives us ways back to Him.  If we are trying to live for Him and we fail and then ask Him to bring and bounce us back, He will....every time!  All we have to do is listen to Him. When we work for God's glory His definition of success is in the continued quest to be closer and more like Him.  When we work for God's glory there is not any better work.  He cares about every little thing and desires us to strive with all that we have.  So, today as we go to our offices know that we have to try, try and try again!

Reference:  Matthew 15:10 (New Living Translation)

day 747: Flying Off

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."

Quick to do this and quick to do that. We must be quick in our businesses so that we don't dilly dally and let the competition pass us, or lose our momentum. It's almost an internal forcing function to be quick and go, go, go. Of course there are many hazards with being too quick and not thinking or planning. When we are quick, we can get too caught up in the moment that we miss important signs and signals that we would have been sensitive to had we been more methodical or deliberate. What we are really looking for is the ability to be fast, but at the same time run and finish well the marathon. It's a hard balance to find. When we are also overly preoccupied with speed we can find ourselves operating backwards and we end up slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to fly off the handle. Many a company or leader who is moving too fast wishes they could take back their first reactions to a problem. How they wish they would have slowed down and not allowed themselves to just fly off the handle. It's a hard discipline to have, but one that we can all apply to our business; listen, be quiet and be thoughtful before reacting.

James puts it right in in our faces on how we are to handle this in our own lives; "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." He is saying that if we do the opposite we are putting ourselves at major risk that we are going to mess something up at work, at home, or anywhere. It seems so simple, but again it is another life lesson that is so hard. Each of these areas that the Bible gives us to self-improve are pointing out that we, by human nature, are flawed. What we must also undestand and do so in accepting His gift, is that we cannot be perfect, but with His assistance, we can overcome and manage the basic flaws that are inside of us. But, we can't do it without Him. This is why we must come back daily to His Word and talk to God in prayer so that we can see our areas of weakness and then improve for His Glory and sake. This week, we will be given our own tests and we can practice being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. We won't be perfect, but we can be attentive and we can see if we can keep from flying off the handle. With His guidance and support, that is something we can certainly control.

Reference: James 1:19 (New Living Testament)

day 584: The Annual Message

This is the time of the year when companies and organizations that operate on a calendar year budget start releasing their annual results and send out their annual report with an annual message from the CEO. The same happens in our government with the State of the Union message that occurred last week. As listeners and readers of these "annual messages" we intently focus on the words and the words behind the words and words between the words. We are looking for the message that is the "truth" that we can hang onto and from these set our own agendas. These annual messages become important for direction setting and also a tone or mood that gets set for the year, or at least for the time being. While there is usually some consistency in the messages from one year to another, there are usually new ideas and concepts that are introduced and we get to learn more about them as the year unfolds. Those that were not so successful from last year, fade or get glossed over and left out of the message. This is why it is important that we, on the receiving end, work as hard at listening, understanding, and comprehending the messages as the person who is delivering it. If not careful, we can find ourselves becoming lazy when it comes to taking in a message. We need to fight that tendency and be intellectually curious and desirous of the messages. The reason being is that we need to be aligned and in-step with the messages if we want to find ourselves being successful in our work. Those who don't listen, or don't care to listen, and then try to apply the messages to their own jobs and work can find themselves working hard, but working on the wrong things, or worse yet working counter to the overall organization's mission and goals. Paul actually reinforces this messages in the book of Hebrews when he speaks of the messages that were/are being delivered about Christ, "So we must listen carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift from it." Paul is telling us how to live our spiritual lives and if it is good enough for our spiritual pursuits, then we can carry the same principle to our earthly work. So, next time a message is being delivered that will have impact on you, take the extra time to listen. Read the speech or the letter all the way through and ask questions to assure your understanding of the topics. If you do this, beyond being better informed, you may find that the pursuit of the truth provides a new motivation in how you do your work.

Reference: Hebrews 2:1 (New Living Testament)

day 557: Clarifying For Understanding

Why is it so hard to ask clarifying questions? Clarifying questions are those asked when we don't understand what is being said and we aren't going to understand any better unless we dig down another level and ask what at the time might feel like the stupid question, but is actually the one that clarifies it all for us. It doesn't hurt at all to be the one who asks the question as others likely have the same question but are afraid to ask. We can be the courageous ones and take the chance of being the fool. The other reason we need to ask is that if we don't then we run the risk of missing out on what comes next or we end up faking it, which is worse. We've all done this at some point or another. Someone will bring up something, of which we have no clue, but we play along with the hope that the conversation moves on to something else and worse we pray we aren't called upon to add more knowledge to the subject. It would be so simple to say, "I don't understand", or better yet to say, "Can I ask a clarifying question about that?" We shouldn't have any fear in asking the follow-on question so that we are fully informed and can then add into the conversation or topic words and thoughts of substance. Any time we don't do this we are wasting an opportunity for ourselves and others. Jesus told His disciples that if they didn't dig in and understand the stories He was telling now, that they wouldn't understand later; "But if you can't understand this story, how will you understand the others I am going to tell?" We have to dig in. We have to seek understanding. We have to ask the clarifying questions and keep doing so until we get it. Imagine not and missing the messages that are coming our way? Start today thinking about what you can avoid missing just by asking one more question.

Reference: Mark 4:13 (New Living Testament)

day 543: Hearing Or Listening?

There are no shortages in ways we are communicated to today. In fact, the messages come in so many different forms and so quickly, that we have to really work hard to be sure that we are not just receiving or hearing, but really listening. Listening goes beyond just taking in a message. True listening is about allowing something to sink in so that we internalize it and then when we respond or react we are doing so from a place where we have put the message into context and pulled it through our own filters for a comprehensive response. There are few things that are worse than getting back half an answer or finding out that the communication that we worked so hard to create, deliver, and ensure receipt, fell on deaf or uncaring ears. How we listen to others makes a huge difference in their willingness and desire to communicate with us again. Those who listen with both ears, an open mind and heart, and truly think about a response are the ones that people love to communicate and bring forth ideas, etc. We want to be known as those who go beyond hearing and come to be known as real listeners. We can read in Mark Chapter 4 how Jesus categorizes the different stages of listening in His parable of the farmer scattering seeds. We can also extend out the lesson to how we listen to others. If we allow the seeds that are sown to fall not on fertile ground we are losing a message and potentially alienating a person. Let us open up more than our ears and move from hearing to truly becoming listeners.

Reference: Mark 4:14-20 (New Living Testament)

day 368: Listen and Learn

The first time I heard of an executive going on a "listen and learn tour" was back in the early 1990's when an incoming CEO was assigned to me to help build his orientation plan. He wanted to visit as many manufacturing plants, sales offices, logistics centers and functional areas of the company as he could before he took over the reins. I remember him saying to me, just tell the people that I will be there to "listen and learn". Since that time, I have always encouraged new employees to take the same approach and listen and learn for as long as they can before they begin to "talk and teach". In my experience, listening and learning first is a sure-fire success formula. If entering a new business or job and trying to prove that you know it all from day one, you are setting yourself up for serious organ rejection. But, listening shows you care and taking in what you learn and doing something with it shows that you can be a real learner and are open to new ideas, thoughts and ways of doing things. The term listen and learn was positively refreshed in my mind this past weekend when our Pastor spoke from John 6:45 when Jesus said, "As it is written in the Scriptures, 'They will all be taught by God'. Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from Him comes to Me." Listen and learn; there it is as a way of living taught to us by Jesus. Today, think about how much listening and learning you are doing versus talking and teaching. Even if you have been in the same job for 20 years and you are the boss, there is still an opportunity to listen to employees you normally would not sit and talk to, or go out and listen to customers and learn what they have to say. We all can heed the lesson and listen and learn more than we did yesterday and more tomorrow than we will do today.

Reference: John 6:45 (New Living Testament)

day 165: Passion

One of the words we hear when we hire and evaluate people is the word “passion”. We want to work around and with people who have and show passion about their work, about their job and about their company. When someone is passionate about something it is contagious and we can see others beginning to rally and follow the person who shows the "fire in the belly". It is a great trait to have and we all could stand to take a look at ourselves and be sure that we are expressing (or have) passion for the work we do. If we don’t then we probably need to evaluate what it is that could create passion within us about our work. Even things we might not totally like to do, we can go after with passion and enthusiasm. There are certain tasks that none of us like to do but it is important that we perform them with passion that others can see. The other side of passion though can also create behaviors that are not so desirable. Many times people who are overly passionate about what they do are quick to anger and express emotions that are not becoming. With this I paint a delicate balance for anyone to achieve. We don’t want to be ones who are either too quick to speak, or lose our temper, or allow words and actions to come from us that show that we are not in control of who we are. So, how to find that balance between passion and the other side? James gives us straight forward direction in James 1:19 on how to ensure that our passion does not tip to the dark side: "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Passionate people are usually the first to speak and because they get so excited or invested in their point of view, they are not great listeners. Regardless if we have a problem with our tempers or not, we can still take in the great direction with James' principle of how to help us work successfully by taking in the words on how to first listen and then slow down and think before we speak. And if we are overly passionate, then the lesson is even that more important. Today, practice the skills that James provides. You may be amazed at what you learn about yourself and how others react and respond to you. Don’t lose your passion….just be sure that it is always in check.

Reference: James 1:19 (New Living Testament)

day 134: Memo to Phil, Part 2: The Message From Afar

In the book of Philemon, Paul asks Philemon to take into his team a man named Onesimus. It is clear in the letter that Paul has some convincing to do before Philemon is going to say yes. Paul is not onsite at the time. He is far away and he is having to do this through a letter. Have you every had your boss ask something that could be a little controversial to you through a letter, a memo, a voice mail or an email? Of course you have. We all have. And if we are a boss, we have done it ourselves. It is impossible for a boss to be in all places at once so there are times where there is no choice because of travel, distance, time zones, or the need for speed, that the boss has to make a request not face to face or even live on the phone. There was an interesting article in the New York Times recently by Matt Richtel who was lamenting that our forms of communication are so reliable now that it has become implausible in fiction to have something happen to the characters because they couldn't connect or be late without updating each other. It is true, but even so, there are many times in the workplace where the communication doesn't come live and we have to accept requests or do things we don't want to do because the boss asks us from afar or through written communication. In the book of Philemon Paul does this but he does so in a way that gives Philemon the context he needs to understand why Paul couldn't communicate live. In verse one he says, "This letter is from Paul, a prisoner for preaching the Good News about Christ Jesus..." There is the context of why he can't be there to talk this through with Philemon live and hear out his concerns, thoughts and questions. Paul was in prison. I have been the one, as the boss, who has had to make these kinds of requests over email or voicemail and there were times that I certainly felt like I was in prison in a meeting, a conference, on a plane, or multiple time zones away. The point is that as we ask, or when we receive these messages, we should consider that the reason why the request is coming like it is, is many times critical in the acceptance or rejection of the message. Paul provides Philemon a context and reason that can't be argued. We don't always have such a valid reason, but whatever the cause that we can't be there, it is important to share it, and be honest. It might be that you as the boss had to put the priority of family first and you are sending an email from your son's little league baseball game. That's okay, just whatever, tell it like is is and the truth will be enough. Tough messages from afar are not easy to send or receive so take the time when you get one to consider the whole context, take a deep breath and then try and understand what is being asked or said. As we step through Paul's letter to Philemon in the coming days, we will see that Paul goes on to explain even more why this request and what good can come from listening and taking the perspective of understanding the whole picture before responding.

Reference: Philemon 1:1 (New Living Testament)