day 1042: Rule of Reciprocity

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets"

Christmas has passed and the presents are open and it's time to think about thank you cards being sent.  Why do we send thank you notes? It comes down to it's in our culture and that we do actually follow the rule of reciprocity.  This example was taken from a recent NPR story by reporter, Alix Spiegel.

"In 1974, Phillip Kunz and his family got a record number of Christmas cards. In the weeks before Christmas they came daily, sometimes by the dozen. Kunz still has them in his home, collected in an old photo album.

"Dear Phil, Joyce and family," a typical card reads, "we received your holiday greeting with much joy and enthusiasm ... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's. Love Lou, Bev and the children."
The cards from that year came in all shapes and sizes, but the basic message was the same. The writers wanted Kunz to know that he and his family were cared for, and also they wanted to share their own news. They included pictures of family members and new homes and smiling graduates with freshly minted diplomas. It all seems pretty normal, except for one thing: Kunz didn't know any of them.
Kunz was a sociologist at Brigham Young University. Earlier that year he'd decided to do an experiment to see what would happen if he sent Christmas cards to total strangers. And so he went out and collected directories for some nearby towns and picked out around 600 names. "I started out at a random number and then skipped so many and got to the next one," he says. To these 600 strangers, Kunz sent his Christmas greetings: handwritten notes or a card with a photo of him and his family. And then Kunz waited to see what would happen.

"It was just, you know, a shot in the dark," he says. "I didn't know what would happen."
But about five days later, responses started filtering back — slowly at first and then more, until eventually they were coming 12, 15 at a time. Eventually Kunz got more than 200 replies. "I was really surprised by how many responses there were," he says. "And I was surprised by the number of letters that were written, some of them three, four pages long." Why would someone send a three-page letter to a complete and total stranger? Why did so many people write him back at all?"

And, today the Kunzs' continue to receive those cards.

How often do we think of the rule of reciprocity for our businesses?  The rule is the same for businesses as individuals.

As believers we know the rule of reciprocity as the "Golden Rule".  We also know that we don't give to be given to, but instead we give because of the ultimate that gift that was given to us.  As we begin to think about the coming year and we set our goals, etc.  let's consider how we can mesh the rule of reciprocity and the Golden Rule even more so in our lives.

Reference:  Matthew 7:12 (New Living Translation)

day 272: Ketchup

While I am on vacation, I have asked friends, and encouragers of Purposed worKING to contribute. Today's post comes from Steve Hayes. He is Steve is the Sr. Partner & Founder of The Human Capital Group, Inc. - a Retained Executive Search and Leadership Consulting firm (www.HumanCapitalGroupInc.com).



Constructive (not destructive) feedback is such an important ingredient to a healthy relationship...whether that relationship be at work with colleagues, direct reports, a boss or customers....or at home with a spouse, child or parent. We all know that no one can "buy" trust...it is something we give to those who have shown us that they are worthy to hold our trust. Healthy relationships are nurtured over time and result in trust being earned. Unfortunately, all too often we decide to "avoid conflict" at work (and at home) and choose not to "invest" in each other through the "gift" of constructive feedback. Suppose you went to lunch with your team from work and you enjoyed the best hamburger ever. Unfortunately, you left the restaurant unaware of the fact that you had a nice blot of ketchup on your chin. Everyone else saw it....but you couldn't see it (it's like having spinach in your teeth or something hanging from your nose....you know, the most embarrassing kind of feeling). Even worse...no one from your group was comfortable enough to let you know about it - or to make an "investment" in you through the gift of constructive feedback. So you went through your day, conducting meetings, interviewing candidates, making a presentation to Sr. Management...and no one told you about the ketchup. As you got home that night, your spouse made you painfully aware of the fact that you had spent the entire afternoon with a nice red mark on your face. In hindsight, wouldn't you have preferred that someone had "taken the risk" and pulled you aside to point out this "flaw"? You might have been embarrassed for a moment, but you probably would have been forever grateful to the person who "invested" in you with the gift of constructive feedback. If this was your reaction, then you now have the reinforcement to live the "Golden Rule" as outlined in Luke 6:31 "Treat all people as you would want to be treated!" In other words, take the time to "invest" in others when you see that they have "ketchup" on their face...maybe they said something inappropriate during a meeting, or they didn't deliver on a commitment, or they are making bad choices of some kind or another. The easy thing to do is to say nothing. The loving thing to do is to give them the "gift" of constructive feedback in the hopes that they don't walk around all day with ketchup on their face!

Reference: Luke 6:31

day 104: Golden Handbook

Every company has a handbook. Nearly every company I know that has a handbook has a handbook that is out of date. In fact, they are out of date the day they are printed as business is constantly changing and morphing and the procedures and policies that are written are many times so arcane that they have to be updated with any slight change in the business. In my career I resisted, fought, and screamed, when the "handbook update" came to me. I just thought that it made no sense to keep writing down more rules and policies that were being prescribed for the 10% of the population who couldn't manage on their own without having something written down to fall back on when they didn't know what to do. Rather, I was always a big fan of the department store, Nordstroms' handbook. They had two policies. The first one was; In everything we do we serve the customer. The second one was: There is no other policy other than the first one. Everything they do/did at Nordstroms was pulled through that one policy and if you have ever shopped at one of their stores and dealt with one of their employees you can see it working in action. I often think about what is the one handbook policy that each of us should be working and living under and it is one that we all know already but we seem to forget in our daily interactions and work. Matthew 7:12: "Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets." Words directly from Jesus and what has come to be known as "The Golden Rule". If we were writing a personal handbook of how to conduct ourselves at work, there it is all summed up in a few succinct words. We are to approach each day and each situation and instance with the attitude of treating others how we would want to be treated by them if the tables were turned. I do believe we could build a company handbook off of that one principle if we so chose. Sounds almost too simple and true to work, but like Nordstroms says, if we believe that there is no other policy than the first one, then we will construct our work, manage our attitude and approach our day with the Golden Rule as the first and only. Imagine the change we each could bring in our workplaces today if this was the way we truly operated?

Reference: Matthew 7:12 (New Living Testament)