day 452: Try Being Open

Other people who have our best interest in mind have some important things to say to us, if we will listen. I have worked with many a person, and have been guilty of it myself, who don't listen well and when feedback comes their way, they shut down, become defensive and begin to rationalize why what they are hearing is of no value to them. I recently was giving feedback to a senior executive about some things I saw him doing that I personally observed in a board meeting. He listened to me over the phone without response as I spoke and at the end of what I wanted to say he spent the next half an hour telling me why I was wrong. Since these were things that I personally saw him do it was a little like I told him that I saw him wearing a blue shirt and him coming back trying to convince me that no, it was not blue, it was actually red. Not only, in my humble opinion, did he miss out on what I think could have made him better, he also has not endeared himself to me to want to try and provide feedback to him in the future. I will of course, because it is part of my responsibility as as board member, but if it wasn't, I wouldn't want to walk into that thicket of thorns again. We should all realize the value in being open to hear what others have to say to us. We don't have to look any further than the story of Jethro and Moses in Exodus Chapter 18. Jethro gave Moses the solution to how Moses could grow and scale his activities. When Moses listened and tried what Jethro suggested, he showed what can come from listening to others and being open to new ideas. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded to stay open and not to close ourselves off to the thoughts and feedback of others. Today, consider this when someone says, "I have been thinking", or "I have an idea", or "Can I talk to you?". Take these opportunities as a gift and put them to good use.

Reference: Exodus Chapter 18 (New Living Testament)

day 14: Feedback Welcomed

It's getting that time of the year when companies are planning their salary budgets, bonus programs, and maybe even performance appraisals and development plans. Usually any of these will necessitate a conversation with your manager about how you are doing at your job. I don't know about you, but these aren't the conversations I looked forward to having because no matter how well I was doing at my job, I could expect some constructive and critical feedback on how to get better. After many years of angst I finally figured out that the only reason I was reticent to receiving feedback was that I was letting my ego get in the way of listening to what others had to say, and what they had to say was more than likely grounded in wanting to improve me. I should have welcomed that feedback. We all should. It really is the only way that we will get better and improve ourselves. Without real, honest, targeted, and observable feedback we could find ourselves not growing. Not developing, improving and growing is way worse than taking in feedback, processing it and putting what we take from it to work. Proverbs 19:20 tells us to "Listen to counsel and receive instructions, that you may be wise in your latter days." I like this verse a lot as it not only encourages us to listen and be open to receiving instruction from others it provides a promise that if we do so then we will gain wisdom and that wisdom will show up in our latter years. And as we grow in our professional careers we need all the wisdom we can get. So, next time your boss says, "I have some feedback for you", or, "it is time to receive your performance appraisal", or to receive 360 degree feedback from your peers, take a deep breath and approach this time with optimism and enthusiasm taking it as a learning opportunity for you to grow and develop. Think of it as an deposit in your wisdom bank for the future.