day 1331: It Just Slipped Out

"Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?...No, you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool."

The news is aflutter about the Pope's word slip. His slip has reminded me of the time I had a business meeting with someone who I know, but don't know all that well. He now represents a financial institution but also is involved in a faith-based for-profit business at a very high level of influence and responsibility. We were having a business meeting over coffee. I was getting briefed on the faith-based business but we were also catching up on how he was doing in a new venture, etc. In the course of the conversation, over an hour or so, he allowed himself to slip out three epitaphs, which were of the non-FCC allowed kinds. Like most of us, we are used to this in business and seldom am I personally phased by any and all of what comes from someones mouth. I can't be judgmental because I have been guilty way too many times in my own career. For years, I will admit that certain four-letter words rolled off my tongue without thought or concern. Those days are thankfully past for me now. But still, I don't want to judge. However, in this situation I had with this person and the not so flattering attention that the Pope received, there is a lesson to be learned. As the executive sat across from me and gave me the update on the faith-based business, each time that one of the words would find their way into the conversation, for me, all credibility of everything else he shared would dissipate. It was like he was speaking two different languages and with each slip of his tongue, I could only hear what I thought was his true language coming through and it eroded his credibility as a leader of a faith-based business. 

As we read in the entire third chapter of James, the tongue is a mighty force and one not to be easily controlled or reckoned. My experience with this other person was exactly what James says in Chapter 3, verse 11-12: "Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?...No, you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool." All I could hear (taste) in our conversation was the salty and the brackish. Whatever was fresh and life-giving was tainted and ruined by the bitter salt. As each day is a new beginning and this is a day where with the removal of a few words (think about it...it's maybe two handful of words only) out of our vocabulary, we can assure that we are never spoiling fresh water or spoiling the other areas of our lives we are doing our best to work and live to God's purpose. Can we start today with not letting ourselves continue with the slips of our tongues?

Reference:  James 3:11-12 (New Living Translation)

day 761: Battle Vs. War (Redux)

"Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing"


We all fight battles at work, each and every day. Sometimes they are small battles, and sometimes large. Overall, we also have our wars that must be fought and won. Hopefully, the wars are those that are against the competition or external forces that are hard to overcome and take our full focus and attention to win. It's when the wars creep into the internal aspects of our businesses that our time becomes unproductive. It is also when we start to get so overwhelmed or engrossed in one thing that we begin to lose perspective and the the battles and the wars become blurred. It is hard to keep them separate because we are passionate about our work and we have our goals and objectives to which we must take stands and have strong points of view. But, it is so important that we don't lose the war because we lose ourselves in the heat of the battle.

I was recently in a conversation where two people were deep into a heated battle over a contentious subject and in the midst of the argument, one person, made the conversation personal and attacked the other person's character. You could see the conversation deteriorating quickly. The person who made the slip of the tongue, lost perspective. The battle was sacrificed to the loss of the war as the person offended now stood on the higher ground, regardless of the merits of the original battle. Proverbs 12:18 speaks to this; "Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing". The war to be won is our character and the life that God wants us to live that others can see. The battles of the day, while important at the time, are insignificant in the overall life we are to live and how we handle ourselves. Today, you will be invariably thrust into battle. As you stand and speak, remember the overall war that is to be won.

Reference: Proverbs 12:18 (New Living Testament)

day 661: The Power Pause

"Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything."

I was told the story of a CEO who had the chance to meet the Dali Lama and have a private session with him. Each time the CEO would ask a question the Dali Lama would take an abnormally long pauses before he answered or spoke. The CEO said it felt very uncomfortable to just sit there and wait for the responses, so as his time was winding down he asked the Dali Lama why he took so long to answer between each question. After another long pause he answered, "Before I respond I ask myself three questions about what I am about to say, before I speak; 'Is it kind?', 'Is it true?', and 'Is it necessary?'. As I listened to this story I was struck by his answer because wouldn't our work places be so much better if we all were to ask ourselves those three questions before we spoke? We work in the land of the opposite where there is a competition for the first word to be spoken (or written). How much better off would we be if we could step back and not be so impetuous with our speech? I have watched more than one career go on a derailment path because of a word spoken in haste or worse, anger. Trying to put the genie back in the bottle looks easy compared to reeling back in words that didn't want to be spoken.

In Proverbs we are told the same thing. We are told to control our tongue and to curb the quick retort. One can lead to long life. The other can ruin everything. Today, let's check our words and learn that there is a power in the pause. We may not have any other way to do it other than to try to ask ourselves the three questions before we speak. But, that's cool too. Whatever it takes to let our minds and souls catch up with our tongue. Let's today practice pausing and see what good can happen.

Reference: Proverbs 13:3 (New Living Testament)

day 315: The Impact of Slipping

Last month I had a business meeting with someone who I know, but don't know all that well. He now represents a financial institution but also is involved in a faith-based for-profit business at a very high level of influence and responsibility. We were having a business meeting over coffee. I was getting briefed on the faith-based business but we were also catching up on how he was doing in a new venture, etc. In the course of the conversation, over an hour or so, he allowed himself to slip out three epitaphs, which were of the non-FCC allowed kinds. Like most of us, we are used to this in business and seldom am I personally phased by any and all of what comes from someones mouth. I can't be judgmental because I have been guilty way too many times in my own career. For years, I will admit that certain four-letter words rolled off my tongue without thought or concern. Those days are past for me now. But still, I don't want to judge. However, in this situation I had last month, there was a lesson to be learned. As this person sat across from me and gave me the update on the faith-based business, each time that one of the words would find their way into the conversation, for me, all credibility of everything else he shared would dissipate. It was like he was speaking two different languages and with each slip of his tongue, I could only hear what I thought was his true language coming through and it eroded his credibility as a leader of a faith-based business. This has stuck with me through the holiday period and I felt it important to write about it now as we start this New Year. This is a year to turn areas of our lives over to God and to let Him take over and take control. As we read in the entire third chapter of James, the tongue is a mighty force and one not to be easily controlled or reckoned. My experience with this other person was exactly what James says in Chapter 3, verse 11-12: "Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?...No, you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool." all I could hear (taste) in our conversation was the salty and the brackish. Whatever was fresh and life-giving was tainted and ruined by the bitter salt. This is a time of new beginning and this is a year where with the removal of a few words (think about it...it's maybe two handful of words only) out of our vocabulary, we can assure that we are never spoiling fresh water or spoiling the other areas of our lives we are doing our best to work and live to God's purpose. Can we start today with not letting ourselves continue with the slips of our tongues?

Reference: James 3:11-12 (New Living Testament)