day 1071: Lying Around - Part 1: "Everybody Does It"

“I must know one thing,” the king replied, “and tell me the truth.”...

Businessweek ran a story in last week's edition titled, " - "The Lies We Tell at Work :Why dishonesty thrives at the office" by reporter Christopher Bonanos. The title page of the story looked like this:

How often have you heard this list? 

• "I really loved working with her. We didn't have any problems"
• "Yep, we're almost done with that research"
• No, I never got the message.  How weird"
• "Wow, traffic was horrible getting in"
• "It wasn't my choice. My boss made me do it"
• "Oh, that dinner was work-related"
• "I don't think I got that e-mail - maybe it's in my spam folder"
• "I can't. I have a doctor's appointment today at 5 p.m."

Every been guilty of these, or others?  Of course you have, we all have.  The article basically says, "Everybody does it". As Christopher Bonanos writes, lies are part of the workplace.  But, does that make them right?  Bonanos gives both sides of lying, but fortunately ends the article with "And our theory is that being honest is at the core of how we really want to perceive ourselves".  The article is worth reading because this reminds us that lying is rampant and that companies that allow this create a very dangerous culture.

I am sure you know where I am going with this.  Just because "everybody does it", doesn't mean that we can.  Hiding behind that "everyone does it" is as ludicrous as when he heard Lance Armstrong say to the public that he didn't see drugging as cheating because everyone else did it too.  Imagine standing in front of God and justifying being dishonest with this argument?  Ours is a greater responsibility and we simply cannot be part of the crowd that is "lying around".  Today, yes today, we each will have tens, if not multiples of that times where we can speak truth or tell a lie.  Let's today be about standing up and not "lying around".

Reference: 2 Samuel 14:8 (New Living Translation)

day 271: In The Spirit Of "True" Preparation

While I am on vacation, I have asked friends, and encouragers of Purposed worKING to contribute. Today's post comes from Tom Koch who works in the Executive Recruiting Industry.

Man, I want to keep getting better at this, but it takes preparation and commitment.

Work, and life, are filled with many opportunities to be truthful. These are also tests of our commitment to being truthful. They could be tests of brainpower, quickness, courage under pressure, selfishness or even tests of emotion. These are tests, challenges, and opportunities where you want to, where you are "compelled" to give an answer. In work there's always going to be the "tough question" in front of a group or an important client. There's the question that comes before you have validated the truth. There's the question where the true answer doesn't fit an important desired outcome. There's the critical selling opportunity where an embellishment might be all it takes to seal the deal. And the list of possible opportunities and/or challenges to being truthful goes on and on.

In Mark 10:19 Jesus says, "But to answer your question, you know the commandments: ‘You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely. You must not cheat anyone. Honor your father and mother.’"

We have all known since we were children that God does not want us to lie. Seems simple enough doesn't it? But, not so fast.

Okay, sure, it means to tell the truth and only the truth. Does it also mean "don't shade the truth"? Does it mean "don't mislead or allow others to be mislead by your words(hmmm, that's not really a lie, is it)? So, no shading the truth, no misleading, etc... That would be a much tougher standard or goal wouldn't it?

I think the answer is, God means for us to speak and live the "spirit of integrity" not just to avoid an outright lie. Maybe we would all benefit from a very clear commandment 'Thou shalt not lie, shade the truth, mislead, fake...'

In this area of truth and integrity we are also guided by Colossians 3:9-10 -
"Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him." Committing to live the spirit of truth and integrity IS becoming more like Him.

Back to the daily opportunities/challenges/tests. Just like with any test or challenge, those who adequately prepare almost certainly enjoy superior performance relative to those who do not.

The people who are most successful in communication, in influencing others, in moving people through presentations, in closing a sale, or any other challenging situation, are those that prepare. Some people prepare for important conversations thinking about what might come up and how they would respond. Others prepare for group presentations in similar ways. They do this because they don't want to be surprised and make a mistake. They know they can't prepare for everything, but they can prepare for many specifics and for how to respond if certain patterns come up.


From an integrity standpoint we can prepare similarly. We all know that we will be faced with situations that "put us on the spot." That tempt us to shade the truth, stretch the truth, or downright tell false truths. Its just those situations for which we need to prepare. It could start with an individual committing to 'being aware' and committing to learn from the next series of tough situations/challenges that are encountered. In each tough situation, if an individual reviews how they react, genuinely assesses their performance against living the "spirit of truth", identifies gaps and formulates a plan for how they would do it differently next time, they will be better prepared to respond with integrity in the next situation.

Today is a great day at work to be renewed and become more like Him. It just takes some preparation and commitment.

Reference: Mark 10:19 (New Living Testament)

day 203: Performance Management

Anyone who has ever managed or supervised someone else knows what it feels like to have to give performance management feedback. And, anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of a performance conversation knows that feeling as well. Many times in my career I have had discussions with managers who know that someone who works for them is not doing the job to their satisfaction as their manager. They know they need to sit down with them and have the hard conversation, but they put it off and avoid doing so because it is hard and they risk that the other person will get upset at them and upset in general. So, the conversation gets avoided, the person who is not doing well keeps doing what they are doing, thinking that they are doing a good job, and the manager gets more and more frustrated and upset with their employee and with themselves. And, believe it or not, I have seen this cycle go on for weeks, months and in some circumstances, for years. Beyond the problem that this is poor management and that the performance of the company suffers, the real problem is that we are not being honest with each other and by not giving the tough feedback, the tough love if you will, we are actually hurting the person who needs the feedback. How will they grow and develop if they don't hear what they need to hear to get better? Anyone who leads people long enough will have to fire someone along the way for poor performance. I've been there and done that. It is not fun in any shape or form. It is agonizing but usually more agonizing beforehand than after. In my experience, once someone gets the true feedback that can make them better, even if that means having to change jobs, they, at some point, feel relieved and better for having heard the truth. We are supposed to be truthful with each other, regardless of how hard it is. In Proverbs 27:17 it says, "As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend". When iron hits iron, yes, sparks can fly, but it is the only way that iron can be sharpened. Today, as you think about the performance of someone who works for you, or with you, or even as you think about your own performance on the job, think through the short and long term ramifications of not being forthright and truthful about job performance. It is hard without a doubt, but the benefits of knowing where you stand and others knowing where they stand, far outweighs the discomfort of the difficult conversation. Let us sharpen each other today so that none of us become dull and lose the edge that we so need to stay competitive in today's job market. Everyone benefits from truthful performance management.

Reference: Proverbs 27:17 (New Living Testament)

day 35: Accusations

Yesterday, I wrote about taking credit and boasting where neither is warranted. It is a part of being dishonest at work. There is another dishonesty that happens at work and that is when things aren't going so well. This is when there is blame to pass around for something that went wrong like when the customer is upset, a report was incorrect, a sale fell through, a person quits because he/she was upset with how they were treated, a part fails, or a presentation wasn't ready in time. You know the drill. The boss or person of authority comes looking for rear ends to kick and chew. And we all know certain people who no matter the problem, they will not stand up and take accountability for themselves and instead will pass it off on someone else. They look like Teflon on the surface but inside they are being dishonest and falsely accusing others for blame when they should be standing up and taking it themselves. This is almost such a common decency and baseline treating of others that it doesn't need a Biblical reference to convince the point, but the reference is there when Luke in Chapter 3 of the same named book, describes what it was that John the Baptist came to preach as he was preparing the way for Jesus. In verse 14 of Chapter 3, John the Baptist responds to a group of soldiers who were asking how they should live their lives. He said to them to be sure that they were fair financially and not extort others and also "don't accuse people of things you know they didn't do". In that time, if a soldier was to falsely accuse someone of something they didn't do it could lead to death. Fortunately, in our country that doesn't happen at work, but there can certainly be a deathly emotional outcome each time someone is falsely accused at work. It doesn't take but a few times to have the false blame come your way that you don't want to be at that job any longer and you feel "run out". For that reason alone, we all need to choose our words carefully and be very, very sure before we pass along any blame on anyone so we not take the chance that we are falsely accusing. Better yet, it is better to stand up and take a part of the blame and instead of allowing the witch hunt to continue, change the conversation to how we ensure it never happens again, before someone else gets dragged in rightly or wrongly. When we are willing stand tall for our actions and results, we stand along with the example of one who was willing to give His all when He was wrongly accused.

Reference: Luke 3:14 (New Living Testament)