day 374: The Last Word

We all know what an argument at work feels like. When someone is trying to get their point across and someone else disagrees and has just as strong of a counter point of view, then eyes lock, voices can raise and each person goes to their corner. This is when a good manager will intervene and find the commonality in the arguments and bring the two people to at least a consensus. That is, if the argument happens in real-time and in person. In today's business environment those arguments happen over email and there is no arbitrator and when an email string of arguments gets going, then watch out! The additional courage that people have to argue and write things in email that they would never say face-to-face is a phenomena that all of us have had to learn to manage and live with over the last 20 years. Two strong-willed people get going on an email string late at night and before long the words that have been written, that can never be reeled back, become hurtful and can have long-lasting damage. Along the way there are others who are added into the email string to observe and also to help reinforce a position and there are those who are being blind copied too so that the arguers are both covering themselves politically. It's not a pretty sight and the best advice to be given is just don't enter the fight. Arguing one's point or trying to win an argument over email never ends well because someone feels like they have to have the last word. If we just don't engage in these arguments, then we can save ourselves time, energy, one less lost night of sleep because of worry about tomorrow and also strengthen our reputations. Yes, those who don't argue and don't get caught up in any of this are usually thought of as being more even-handed and cool-headed. Paul tells us in Philippians 2:14 that arguing is senseless; "In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you." Notice that he says, "In everything you do...". That means work too. Today, you will invariably be faced with a situation where you could take the argument, fuel the fire and push on a topic and person until a full-blown argument ensues. When faced with that today, try a different approach. Don't respond on email, pick up the phone and talk or walk down the hall. Don't dig your heels in for the fight but find the common ground to build from and when that voice inside you says, "Argue for this". Back away and let the argument go somewhere else and fell okay by letting someone else have the last word.

Reference: Philippians 2:14 (New Living Testament)