day 678: Conflict Management

"People who wink at wrong cause trouble, but a bold reproof promotes peace."

I recently had the opportunity to experience a corporate culture where conflict management truly happens and is not like it is in most places, conflict avoidance. Few people relish the idea of conflict, and in fact we might tag those people with having an anger management issue. But, there is a healthy way to manage conflict and most organizations never get to that point. Rather, when conflict does arise either people avoid it or if they do try and manage the emotions around the conflict and it is uncomfortable and both sides of the conflict are spending so much time trying to manage themselves and assessing whether or not how the other person is responding that the true reason for the conflict never gets resolved. What we want is to be in a place where people can speak openly with each other, disagreeing without causing those extra emotions to rise up. Think how freeing it would be to be able to point out something we think is wrong without worrying that we are going to hurt someones feelings or that they are going to lash back out at us? In this culture I saw, disagreeing, expressing opinions and challenging each other was not just the norm, it is expected. The reason this works at this business is because there is a foundation of values and principles that are built on trust and everyone doing what is is right for the business first and themselves second. When this is real and obvious to all, it can be really powerful. So many companies would benefit from being able to openly manage conflict without hidden agendas, politics, or the worry of what someone else is going to think.

Solomon tells us that we should not avoid conflict, especially when we see wrong. It is then that he calls for us to bring forward not only a reproof, but a bold one at that. But, how do we do that in a way that doesn't alienate us from others, or cause others to be hurt when challenged? It starts with the relationship we have built with others. If we have established a relationship that is grounded in trust and our caring about the other person then even though they may not like what we have to say, there will be a level of respect and acceptance that we would never be able to reach if we hadn't taken the time and the energy to have already invested in them. We can start today in building those relationships that are strong and credible and from there be able to not let wrong pass, but instead be a voice of wisdom and influence when we step forward and speak out, without the worry of conflict.

Reference: Proverbs 10:10 (New Living Testament)