"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers
flare"
"But she is treading all over what I am supposed to be doing!"
This was from a person I know who is on a non-profit board and she was "fit to be
tied" because someone else on the board was treading all over a project
that she is trying to lead and get off the ground. She was upset and
trying to figure out how to diffuse the situation but still get the
point across. That same conversation, change the names and the reason,
was happening at that time (and is probably happening right now) across
any number of companies across the country and around the world. Who
does what, who is in charge, who is taking the next steps and who is
trying to one up the other person is a constant dialogue thread at work.
As this person and I settled on the best way to talk to the other
person to calm the situation and make everything as productive as
possible we fell back on the axiom that honey always works the best and
that she should be talking to the other person in a way that
acknowledges that everyone has been heard and that their thoughts and
feelings will be considered.
If I had been faster on my Scripture feet I
would have been able to have quoted Proverbs 15:1 for the situation at
hand: "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers
flare". What a great lesson to hide deep within ourselves when faced
with these moments that we feel we need to be sure and get our point
across in response to something that is out of bounds, off alignment, or
crosses a line with us. A gentle word of understanding, a soft
response of recognition, or a calming set of words coming from us can
suck the negative energy from the conversation and the room, leaving all
of us able to to communicate more openly, positively and productively.
One of these instances is hiding around the corner for you. It might be
today that it flares. When it does, remember the words of Proverbs and
see if you can find the gentle answer within you and add your own sweet words to the situation.
Reference: Proverbs 15:1 (New Living Translation)
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