day 1366: Giving Back

"And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ."

Whenever a person, or a group of people, do well, others question if they are being generous enough in giving back.  We are seeing it clearly in the Tech industry as a group and I know many individuals who feel very much under attack only because they are doing well.  I have had that same attack from others and all that one can do is do what is right within themselves and then not listen too much to others.  That doesn't mean that we can ignore that we should be generous.  Blogger, Seth Godin, says this about the benefit of being successful and generous:



Here's conventional wisdom:
Success makes you happy. Happiness permits you to be generous.
In fact, it actually works like this:
Generosity makes you happy. Happy people are more likely to be successful.
A good lesson for us all.

Generosity is not all about financial giving. Generosity of spirit is just as important.  That generosity leads to good works, willingness to give time, energy and encouragement.  When others watch what we do, generosity of who we are can be a clear example of our faith.

Reference: Philemon 1:6 (New Living Translation)  

day 139: Memo To Phil, Conclusion

For seven days now we have been able to look into the short letter written from Paul to Philemon regarding Onesimus. Paul wants Philemon to take Onesimus onto Philemon's team and to mentor and give him an opportunity to grow and develop under Philemon's leadership. We have seen that in just one letter that Paul has modeled and given us the words and the tone of a true leader. As we conclude this series, there is one other message that is important to glean from Paul's request to Philemon. Throughout the letter he very much centered his words as supporting and respectful and if we stopped right here it would be a great set of lessons for us in our everyday work but there is more. We all have had, or have now, bosses, who are demanding and push us to do more and get better. Sometimes this is done well and respectfully and other times (the ones we most remember) our bosses have not been respectful of us and we wonder, "do they even understand me?". Our time gets disrespected, our self-esteem gets challenged and our opinions can get belittled and sometimes we might just feel taken advantaged of as a person. Regardless, when this happens to us we find ourselves unhappy and resentful. We find ourselves wishing our boss would be more like Paul. But, the other lesson to see in the letter to Philemon is that Paul was not a push-over kind of boss and he made it clear to Philemon that he expected, regardless of the words he used, that Philemon "raise the bar". In verse 21 he says; "I am confident as I write this letter that you will do what I ask and even more.". Paul expected that Philemon would get better and raise his performance. Now Paul says it in a nicer way than most bosses, but the same expectation is there. If we are thinking that this thing called work is about finding a level of performance that we feel comfortable in and then setting cruise control, then we are going to be sorely disappointed. We must strive to get better, work smarter and more efficiently. For some it may be we need to actually work harder, find another gear within ourselves and constantly be growing and bettering ourselves. Paul was not going to be happy that Philemon just accepted his request and complied. He was not going to be satisfied until Philemon did even more than what was being asked of him. As we conclude this series of posts, my prayer is that you take in all of the lessons and examples that Paul has given us on how to lead and the words that he chose to make a request of his subordinate, and that these lessons help you in your own points of leadership, but also that you see that work is about being led, developed and grown and yes, sometimes pushed to the next level of your potential. Your attitude on how you accept all of these messages from your boss is as much about your own happiness in your job as anything else. Each and every day we are faced with the choice of how we will respond when faced with new challenges. The challenges will not always come to us in the neat, tidy and respectful words of Paul, but let's try and listen through the words that do come to us and respond in a way that would be fitting for how God wants us to be within our work and on the job.

Reference: Philemon 1:21 (New Living Testament)

day 138: Memo to Phil, Part 6: Partnership

As Paul was asking Philemon to accept Onesimus onto his team, Paul calls on Philemon as his “partner”. It’s interesting in business and at work that we use the word partnership quite a bit but how often do we really treat someone like a partner? Having a partner is like having an equal. Treating someone like a partner is treating them like you would treat yourself (why does that sound familiar). Yet when we talk about partnering at work what we really mean is that we are going to spend time with that person, work along side of them, ensure that they are getting the right support, etc., but when it really comes down to it, we are still out for ourselves and at the end of the day we want our agenda, our careers, our needs to be met over the other person’s. That is not true when in partnership. In the work world we are in today it is hard to create true partners unless the financial and career rewards are totally aligned and the same. Start up businesses can create the magic of partnership, but even law and accounting firms which are partnerships by definition end up being political, cut-throat and individual versus team-oriented. In the book of Philemon where Paul has asked a big favor of Philemon, Paul says to Philemon in verse 17; “So if you consider me your partner, give him the same welcome you would give me if I were coming.” Paul asks Philemon to act like a partner and then gives him the example of what a true partner would do; live out the actions as if they were being done to his partner or himself. Our jobs would be so much better if we truly approached others at work like they were our partners. If we trusted in them, honored them, took them into full consideration and shared in the successes totally with each other. For some reason, we stop short of that level of partnership. I don’t know this for sure, but it certainly appeared that Jesus had found 12 partners when he called his disciples. Each was on an even playing field with the others and as he lived they lived. There was no hierarchy or one-up-man ship. Jesus did not make success about Himself; he instead brought them in on everything and shared their talents with what the wanted to teach them for the future. We can take lessons from Paul and Jesus on how to have partners in our lives. On the job, we could use a true partner every now and then. Think about this today. Are you the partnering type? Could you be a true partner to someone else? Will you share? If you can become a true and real partner, then go for it and enjoy the closeness of another person who cares as much about you as they do the success or failure of the business. And can you be that true partner back? It is not easy, but it can be fulfilling and exciting for you. And who knows, those partners at work may learn more about you and ultimattely learn what it is about you that gives you the partnering spirit.

Reference: Philemon 1:17 (New Living Testament)

day 137: Memo to Phil, Part 5: Full Commitment

Paul asks a big favor from Philemon in the letter that Paul writes him about Onesimus. Beyond the favor that he asks Philemon to take Onesimus onto his team, he is looking for full commitment from Philemon. Paul knows that without Philemon's commitment that the request will likely fail and worse yet, Onesimus will not be successful. At work we don't always think how important it is that everyone is fully bought into a project or decision. We tend to get enough heads nodding up and down in a meeting that we think we have full commitment and we get going, only to find out later that not everyone was totally onboard and things go south. No where does this show up more than in the hiring process. The best hiring is done when lots of people agree totally and everyone is in consensus and alignment on the person and what she/he will be expected to do in their new job. When we don't have that full consensus, commitment and alignment then it tends to end up with the person not doing so well on their job, not getting full support and sometimes ultimately failing at their job. What a tragedy this is for the person and their family. And it could have been avoided had we just been more diligent in getting everyone's full commitment. In Paul's request, he was asking Philemon to take on a new team member and Paul knew how important it was to have Philemons' full commitment, otherwise, Onesimus would likely fail. Paul says this to Philemon in verse 8: "But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent. I wanted you to help because you were willing, not because you were forced." How great would it be to hear those kinds of words in the office more often? Sometimes we hear them, but we can hear right through them as being hollow, because we know the boss really doesn't care and is just giving lip service. That will always happen as there are many people who we cannot put our trust. But, we can be different kinds of leaders. We can be like Paul and be honest, open and caring with the people he worked. If Paul was our boss and he said the above to us, we would feel very empowered and willing to walk through walls for him. That is the kind of leader we should all be. Paul's lessons in the book of Philemon are great. There are a couple of more to be explored next week. For now, let them sink in and see what can become a part of your leadership skill set.

Reference: Philemon 1:14 (New Living Testament)

day 136: Memo to Phil, Part 4: Asking Before Telling

Paul makes a request of Philemon to take Onesimus onto Philemon's team. We have seen over the past few days how Paul sets this request up in his letter to him in the Book of Philemon. Paul clearly has some authority over Philemon, like we all have bosses and people of influence over us, but Paul doesn't come across that way at all. In fact, he goes 180 degrees on Philemon and doesn't send him an "order". Instead he asks for permission and favor to make the request. How often does that happen in our workplace that the boss will ask for permission before saying what he/she wants done? Not often enough is probably your answer. We all know bosses who got to where they are because they are decisive, have a strong vision for what they want, and can lead and marshall people and teams to get things done. There is nothing wrong with that and we need more people who can take the lead. I have always said that if our country had more leaders we wouldn't pick from two people to be president every four years. Some parts of being a leader come naturally but the principles of leadership can be learned and practiced to become a more effective leader. In this letter, before Paul makes the request to Philemon he says this: "That is why I am boldly asking a favor of you. I could demand it in the name of Christ because it is the right thing for you to do. But because of our love, I prefer simply to ask you..." Knowing how to ask before telling is a powerful skill. Just taking the extra time and humility to ask the favor first can be the difference between gaining commitment or just gaining compliance. We all want people to be committed to the request and the task. If we are on the team, we want to be totally committed ourselves. So, think this through the next time you are in the situation where you could tell others what to do. Think through asking first and see the different results you might receive. It's hard to turn down a caring ask. It is even harder to not follow through on the commitments made from that same caring ask. Paul models it for us. It is our choice to follow the example.

Reference: Philemon 1:8-9 (New Living Testament)

day 135: Memo to Phil, Part 3: Care And Praise

If you have been following along the past few days you will know that we are exploring the request made from Paul to Philemon for Philemon to accept Onesimus onto Philemon's team. This message came in the form of a letter. In this letter Paul makes a tough request but he doesn't do so before ensuring that Philemon knows that Paul both respects and cares for him. After telling Philemon why he can't be there live in person to talk to him, Paul tells Philemon how much he cares for him and gives him lots of praise...all before he makes the request. We see this in verses 4, 5 and 7. Verse 4 and 5: "I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon, because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all of God’s people". Verse 7: "Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people." There is a great leadership lesson in here that as people who might manage others or lead projects or teams, we need to remember that showing care for another person and providing praise, before asking something of someone, goes a long way. How often do we just rush into a conversation, fire off an email or text message and we do so without ever stopping to recognize the other person and give a little praise and care first? I suspect that we probably do so more often than we want to admit? And we all know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of one of those messages, when we stop and say to ourselves, "C'mon couldn't you just have said something nice first?". This is not a hard lesson to learn, but a hard lesson to practice. As we work through our purpose in our work, to bring glory to God, we can remember even more diligently that the care and praise that we bring to others can be the reflection of how God is working through us into our jobs and our own work. So, before we ask of others, be like Paul and dish out a little care and praise onto the other person first. For sure the message will be received more openly, but better yet, the person will feel built up and encouraged. What better feelings can we bestow on others who work with us?

Reference: Philemon 1: 4,5 and 7 (New Living Testament)

day 134: Memo to Phil, Part 2: The Message From Afar

In the book of Philemon, Paul asks Philemon to take into his team a man named Onesimus. It is clear in the letter that Paul has some convincing to do before Philemon is going to say yes. Paul is not onsite at the time. He is far away and he is having to do this through a letter. Have you every had your boss ask something that could be a little controversial to you through a letter, a memo, a voice mail or an email? Of course you have. We all have. And if we are a boss, we have done it ourselves. It is impossible for a boss to be in all places at once so there are times where there is no choice because of travel, distance, time zones, or the need for speed, that the boss has to make a request not face to face or even live on the phone. There was an interesting article in the New York Times recently by Matt Richtel who was lamenting that our forms of communication are so reliable now that it has become implausible in fiction to have something happen to the characters because they couldn't connect or be late without updating each other. It is true, but even so, there are many times in the workplace where the communication doesn't come live and we have to accept requests or do things we don't want to do because the boss asks us from afar or through written communication. In the book of Philemon Paul does this but he does so in a way that gives Philemon the context he needs to understand why Paul couldn't communicate live. In verse one he says, "This letter is from Paul, a prisoner for preaching the Good News about Christ Jesus..." There is the context of why he can't be there to talk this through with Philemon live and hear out his concerns, thoughts and questions. Paul was in prison. I have been the one, as the boss, who has had to make these kinds of requests over email or voicemail and there were times that I certainly felt like I was in prison in a meeting, a conference, on a plane, or multiple time zones away. The point is that as we ask, or when we receive these messages, we should consider that the reason why the request is coming like it is, is many times critical in the acceptance or rejection of the message. Paul provides Philemon a context and reason that can't be argued. We don't always have such a valid reason, but whatever the cause that we can't be there, it is important to share it, and be honest. It might be that you as the boss had to put the priority of family first and you are sending an email from your son's little league baseball game. That's okay, just whatever, tell it like is is and the truth will be enough. Tough messages from afar are not easy to send or receive so take the time when you get one to consider the whole context, take a deep breath and then try and understand what is being asked or said. As we step through Paul's letter to Philemon in the coming days, we will see that Paul goes on to explain even more why this request and what good can come from listening and taking the perspective of understanding the whole picture before responding.

Reference: Philemon 1:1 (New Living Testament)

day 133: Memo To Phil, part 1: Taking One For The Team

Unless you don't work or you work for yourself with no investors, shareholders, or Board of Directors, then you have a boss. Most everyone has a boss. Over the span of our careers most people, at some point or another, also get put in a spot of responsibility where they are responsible for a project, a team, a department, or a person. They then move to being a boss. Being a boss is not easy and we all appreciate it greatly when we get a good one and we are miserable when we have a bad one. So, it is important to try and be good at leading projects and people and also understanding our bosses and helping them be good at what they do. The Bible is full of great examples of leadership and one of the best texts that I follow is the book of Philemon. In this short letter from Paul to Philemon, Paul corresponds to Philemon from afar and if he was writing a business memo or email to Philemon the heading or subject line might have been "Taking one for the team". Paul was asking Philemon to accept a man named Onesimus into Philemon's ministry/organization when it appears that Philemon might have some issues with doing so. Have you ever been in a situation where your boss is trying to get you to work with someone that you really don't want on the team? It might be that it is going to take too much time to train that person, or that they come from a different part of the organization and do things differently, or that you think you can get the job done better and faster if you just do it alone, or that you don't like other people giving you their opinion on how things should get done, or you feel threatened because you think the boss doesn't trust you alone, or maybe you just don't like the other person. This happens all the time. The boss asks you take one for the team, for the good of another person, or for a reason that you don't understand fully or don't understand at all. This is what Paul asks Philemon to do and because Philemon trusts Paul, he does it. But, beyond the trust, it is "how" Paul asks and the words that he uses to Philemon that makes the message powerful and acceptable. Today, you may be asked by your boss, to "take one for the team". She/he may not be as articulate or as caring as how Paul asks Philemon, but the request is there all the same. How will you respond? Will you fight, argue, or acquiesce reluctantly, or will you understand that setting aside your own agenda for the good of the whole and at the request of your boss is a good thing? God gives us these examples and stories in His word to learn and follow. Stay with me for a few days as we go through Paul's memo to Philemon to learn some great leadership lessons. In the meantime, if asked to take one for the team and don't want to and need some help then you can follow in the example of Philemon.

Reference: The Book of Philemon (New Living Testament)